DEVELOPING CONTACTS

Following on from yesterday, one of the young entrepreneurs I'm working with on the One to One Mentoring for Success program I run, recounted a recent event that typifies the mind set of many people, looking at opportunities as problems and difficulties they don't enjoy, and  shy away from.

Talking to strangers  is the biggest no- no, for many people, filled with dread and fear. Unfortunately opportunity lies within other people, and to be a success you have to go looking rather than wait for a knock at the door, which is more likely to be a bailiff than good news if you sit still in the entrepreneurial world. Inactivity just means you're going backwards in life.

Whatever you do, you have to become active in opening and taking opportunity. With this young lady she was asked to help with party and provide some Russian translation as a favour for a couple of hours. Every person you meet is either a door or has a message that may guide you in the right direction. But in this instance the idea of developing a conversation to your advantage, with absolute strangers who have their mind fixed firmly on what they are doing, does at first sight seem a daunting task.

But what you have on your side is the ability to be courteous, show interest, ask leading but not prying questions and let nature take it's course. Never prejudge or assume, you will simply close the door with your own conditioning. People like people and they like to be liked, so to develop contacts requires the ability to use you ears and mouth in the ratio God put them on your head 2:1.

In this instance, whilst her conditioning was telling her it was a waste of time (bearing in mind she knew nothing about their backgrounds, just nationality) she decided she might just as well find out a little more about one who seemed to be more reserved, than just in the party spirit. Telling people what you do for a living is pointless till they start to show exploratory interest. That means you have developed rapport and a converstaional ease to elicit background information; opportunity or information will present itself every time. In this instance the young lady gained a valuable contact with influence and the prospect of three contracts.

Now, they are prospective contracts, but this is the key to success, the more prospective opportunities you uncover the more likely you will advance in life, if that is you have the ability to develop those contacts. But 'how' is the question, the answer lies in the Power of Influence, how to develop relationships with other people. It's a skill that requires an understanding of how language can and should be used to create, not just babble. This is the first area of focus for the course, it's a learned science and not one they teach at school.. How to win friends and influence people is a basic foundation of success.

You know the language, but do you know what you're saying, what messages you send out that undermine your position, the subtext of conversations. If you don't you are stumbling in the dark when it comes to success. All you have to r go on is intuition, which is tainted with your own personal conditioning you will be unaware of.

One of the most rewarding aspects of mentoring is how you actively develop other people's success levels. This is done in the practical sense of being a sounding board, but also the individuals I work with often use my skin, my personality to step into at times of confusion to think how I would handle the situation (in a metaphorical sense).

One of the most powerful resources you will find is your imagination, it can give you literally the confidence of anyone you choose by stepping into another persons personality to develop your own. It's a great technique, and one I develop with my clients as a resource to actively work with to achieve their goals. Try it, imagine someone you admire, develop the characteristics in your mind that you would like to have, step into that person, see with their eyes, and feel what they would feel, just like coming out of the cinema when you were a kid and being superman or batman, blessed with all their powers. The great thing about your imagination is it knows no limits, just the strangle hold your conditioning has on it's power, through you imagination you can manifest anything you want into your life, and it's the key to the law of attraction.