FATMAN EXERPT

As I keep getting asked what FatMan is about I thought it might be an opportune time to run an extract of the text. As you may know FatMan is a Super Hero who lives In a parallel universe to our own with very similar characters. It is a romantic adventure as well as being a satirical piece. During the following excerpt FatMan gets to meet a top Hollywood film star.. Guess who..

What was your big break into the movies?" FatMan asked.
"Oh, that was my first porn movie called 'Top Bum'. Dorl suggested I change my name to something with a bit more power so I chose Jerry Missile. Dorl liked it, he said it retained the 'Porn King' feeling about it, but sometimes I also used my birth name 'Rusty Star' when I was playing straight. While I'm very short, I am extremely well endowed, which was fundamentally all that was required to make it big on the big screen, combined with my cute little bum of course. The film was about a group of gay navy guys banging to become the top bum in the American Navy. I played a rebel who lost his boyfriend in a freak swimming accident, suffered a loss of confidence and then banged his way to the top."
"I didn't know you were gay." FatMan said with surprise at Jerry's insider, behind closed back door revelations.
"I'm not, it's only make believe in the films you know, it's not like I had a relationship for real, it was only acting, and I had my mind on making it to the big time, after taking it big time."
"So you used a stunt double for all the hard core banging scenes?" FatMan asked intrigued at Rusty Star's candour.
"Sometimes, only when there was potentially too much for me to handle with the breadth of my experience, but I like to do all my own stunts, it adds to the authenticity of the whole film I feel."
"Yeah, I've always admired you for your action scenes." FatMan said feeling very fortunate to be sharing the front seat with such a great icon of the 35 millimetre. "But I guess you must have had some close shaves in your time?"
"Usually we get waxed to give a clear crack and ball look to the shots, but there was a hairy moment once when I got my rip cord stuck just as I was trying to eject, but other than that I really enjoyed making the film. We played beach ball and did a lot of shower scenes which were great fun, the experience really laid the path to my next film, 'Legs Wide Open', a film about gang banging and wife swapping which was panned by the critics mainly for a lack of realism. I had my ex-wife in it at the time so I couldn't see the problem, but looking back I realise we were acting in the relationship and that part of me came onto the camera sometimes."
"I guess it can really mess up a film."
"Yes and no, sometimes it adds to the authenticity, but with modern cleaning fluids you can still get the best out of camera after the money shot has been taken."
"What was your real key to success?"
"Well, I think I got into the grove of playing different characters who were basically all the same. Usually at the top of their game, meeting a girl having loads of sex, having a crisis of confidence, not being able to have sex and then finding a way to get back in the seat so to speak. I did that as a gay lawyer in 'Taking A Few Good Men', and a stud racing driver called 'Nights of Wonder'. I've had my share of howlers like the one about a long haired veterinary surgeon in a wheel chair, who wanted to be a girl, called 'The Fucking of Julie', not to mention 'Clitoral Damage' which was a snuff movie. I got a stand in to go down for the final scene on that one. Unfortunately the critics all said I shouldn't have copped out and done the final death scene myself as I'd been killing the film all through. Far and away the best early movie I made was the 'Colour of Honey', which was about a rent boy running tricks on the pool circuit. It called for some really athletic work for all the positions I had to get into bending over pool tables, fondling cues and playing with balls, often all at the same time. My character had a really big mouth which was wonderful for a young actor to get really into the scenes that required my oral skills and not just body shots."
"Wow, you really are dedicated to your work aren't you, it's not surprising you hit the big time, even for such a short fellow."
"Well I was just lucky I guess, as well as lots of strategically placed boxes" Copyright FATMAN TWO 'THE CURSE OF LE CUIRF'.